


But I Missed You More Than I Thought I Would

by FMLClexa



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Catra isn't the best at using her emotions dont be mad at her, F/F, i try and write the characters as accurately as I can
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 10:17:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16679743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FMLClexa/pseuds/FMLClexa
Summary: In her heart, Adora was never temporary.





	But I Missed You More Than I Thought I Would

**Author's Note:**

> :))))

In her heart, Adora was never temporary.

Growing up in a military academy together as the only two orphans had cemented their place with each other at a very young age.

So it hadn’t been a surprise to Catra that after they graduated, they’d moved in together.

It hadn’t surprised her when they’d both enlisted in the Horde.  
  
It hadn’t surprised Catra when they were assigned to the same squad.

They would return home together after tiring drills and trying simulations and Adora would make them dinner. Catra would find some show for them to tune out as they talked over the day and ate.

It hadn’t surprised Catra when on one of those days, they’d fallen into the other’s arms and whispered words of love. Traded soft kisses and intimate looks.

Then that became another seamless part of their schedule.

They would wake up together and train together and come home together and be together.

None of that really surprised Catra.

What had surprised Catra, was waking up on an inconspicuous Tuesday to a bed that was empty despite being full the night before.

It was walking into their kitchen and noticing half the food was missing.

It was the way that suddenly, the squad and commanding officers who had praised her and Adora turned their shoulders to her. No longer allowing her snide comments or flippant nature now that Adora wasn’t there to defend her.

What surprised her was that every day that went by, her heart simply ached more.

But as it often did, Catra’s pain turned to rage.

Adora was beautiful like demolition and the thought of her drew Catra’s knuckles white.

So, she sat -her fists clenched tight and her thoughts full of the blonde she hated to love- and stared out her window over the skyline of her city.

She sent the takeout sitting on the table below her a disdainful look. She was sick of fast food but had given up on trying to cook for herself a few weeks after Adora left.

With a final sigh, she stood, putting effort into unclenching her fists and releasing the tension that rested in her shoulders.

She grabbed the half-empty styrofoam container and made her way into the kitchen, chucking the remains in the garbage. As she made her way back to her couch a pounding on her door stopped her in her tracks.

She sent the door a harsh glare before realizing glaring at the door wasn’t going to stop the incessant knocking.

She stalked towards the door, her voice loud enough to be heard from the other side of the door as she spoke, “I own a gun and I swear if I open this door and you’re trying to sell me something I WILL USE IT!” She grabbed the handle of the door and yanked it open.

Then she saw her.

Wearing unfamiliar clothes with an unfamiliar scar marking her temple but still oh-so Adora.

It was her in the way she stood, her shoulders held back in a posture that was drilled into her as a child. It was her in the way her face held no apologies yet was somehow full of regret.

“Catra-” Adora didn’t get a chance to finish whatever it might’ve been she was about to say because Catra’s fist connected solidly with her cheek.

Catra let out a grunt of rage as she lunged out of her apartment into the hallway, another fist swinging at Adora.

But the blonde had recovered from her shock and she was nothing if not adaptable. She grabbed Catra’s wrist and spun her, pinning her against the wall.

“Catra stop!” The other girl said, her words demanding but her voice pleading. Catra struggled against the stronger girl’s grip to no avail, “Catra, please! Can we talk inside?” Catra struggled for a few more moments before calming. Her heart raced and anger pulsed through her veins but she nodded.

Adora let go of her and Catra pushed off the wall angrily, brushing non-existent dust off herself if only to seem more dignified.

She stalked into the apartment, not checking if Adora followed. She heard the door click closed behind her as she rummaged through her freezer.

“Catra…” The blonde’s voice grated on her ears as she searched the freezer.

“Shut up,” Catra grumbled as she pulled out a bag of frozen peas. She turned around and tossed them at Adora who caught them with reflexes that came with being a soldier, “Ice your cheek,” She grabbed a beer from the fridge and turned around, leaning against a wall as she glared at Adora. “Why’re you here?” She uncapped the beer and took a long pull from it, only slightly bitter that she didn’t have anything stronger.

Adora shifted on her feet, her eyes lingering on the floor. After a few uncomfortable moments where Catra did her best to keep her glare from dissolving into something else, Adora met her eye.

“I came to see you,”

Catra laughed bitterly at that, tossing her head back and crossing her arms with the motion.

“Oh did you now? Came to see your old pal, Catra?” She took another long pull of her beer and shook her head, “You left Adora. You don’t get to just come back. I could have you arrested right now. You went AWOL, Adora. You don’t get to just come back.”

Adora nodded at the words, “You’re angry,” Adora said softly, going back to not meeting Catra’s gaze.

“Who wouldn’t be angry! You ate all my cereal and disappeared for six months!” Catra snapped back, her body exploding off the wall as she spoke. She slammed the beer down on the counter, ignoring the foam that bubbled over the top as she pointed angrily at Adora, “You disappeared with no warning, no note! You didn’t try and contact me once! Then you show up here at my house after all that and expect me not to be angry?” Her chest was heaving by the end of her rant, her fists clenching and unclenching.

Then Adora mumbled something and looked down.

“Speak up, Adora,” She snapped. The blonde looked up,

“Our house,” She said, her voice soft and trembling and it made Catra see red.

“You have NO right to call this our house,” She snarled, stalking up to Adora and jabbing her finger into the other girl’s chest, “You left this house,” She hated the way her voice cracked on the words. She fought against the pressure she felt building behind her eyes.

“You stayed,” Adora didn’t step away at the prodding finger, she took the blow and met Catra’s eyes and she hated it.  
“Because the lease isn’t up yet,” Her excuse sounded weak even to herself,

“I don’t believe that,”

Catra’s bottom lip quivered even as she sent an angry look at Adora.

“I hate this house and I hate you.” She didn’t move the wipe the tear that fell down her cheek away.

“Catra…” And she hated the pitying tone Adora’s voice took on.

Catra shook her head.

“Why did you even leave?” Her voice lacked anger now. She just wanted to know why. What had caused the girl she loved to leave, “You had everything! You were going to become a captain! You had an amazing house!” She shook her head, more tears spilling down her cheeks, “You had me.”

She shook her head, wiping her tears away angrily.

“Just tell me why you left.”

“I joined the rebellion,” Catra’s head jolted up and she felt an outraged reply building in her throat but Adora raised her hand in a surrender-like motion, “I didn’t plan to at first. I got a tip from a reporter friend that there was rebel activity south of the city and I thought I would go check it out. I thought if I went and brought back intel it would fast-track my promotion to captain…” She trailed off and crossed her arms, “But I got there and I realized everything that was happening. They opened my eyes to everything the Horde was really doing! We hadn’t seen active duty yet but when I was with them I was actually helping people! In the city, people have it fine but the towns out there are suffering Catra. I was finally doing good for the world. I hadn’t felt like I had truly found my place until I joined them. I’m back because I want you to come with me. They trust me there and they’ll trust you. I can take you away from all this, Catra.”

Catra furrowed her brow, shaking her head in confusion. Her fists clenched at her sides. The anger she felt building up in her prompted her claws to unsheath into her palms. She didn’t even register the pain.

“You think you’re the hero of this story?” A bitter laugh left her lips, “I hate to break it to you, but you’re the reason everything here has gone to shit!” Adora flinched at her words but she pressed on, advancing on the other girl once again, “They all hate me now! since you left I’ve been treated like garbage in the Horde! Half the reason I joined was because of you!” She shoved her and Adora stumbled back a few feet but Catra kept stalking forwards, “I loved you and you LEFT!” She pushed Adora with all her might and it sent the blonde tumbling back into the wall behind her. Catra stopped two feet from her, chest heaving, eyes wild.

“I don’t regret it. Not a single second, not a single breath. But it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.” Catra let out a shout of rage and swung at the girl who she’d spent her entire life with. But she never did like hurting the other girl and her fist connected with the wall next to Adora’s head. The drywall crumbled under her fist and she let out a hiss of pain but she didn’t move.

Then she froze. Her body was bracketing Adora’s. Their faces were inches from each other.

She hadn’t been this close to Adora in months and she hated the way her body wanted to fall into the familiar comfort.

Hated that the blonde still smelled like black pepper and sandalwood in the most intoxicating way. She hated the way her breath caught in her chest when Adora’s hand came to rest on her hip.

She hated it in every way yet it was all she had wanted for months on end. So she gave in. She gave in to her primal urges and leaned forwards, kissing Adora with a fury she didn’t quite feel anymore.

But as the adrenaline leaked out of her leaving her shaking and her hand aching where it rested in the wall, the kiss grew softer.

That first kiss spoke of rage and betrayal and pain. The one they shared now as Adora’s hands wound into her hair and pulled her closer spoke of apologies and forgiveness.

She pulled away after a moment, resting her forehead against Adora’s and pulling her hand ginger out of the wall.

It was definitely going to be bruised and swollen. She couldn’t bring herself to care.

“Please don’t leave me again,” She mumbled, her words coming out in a pained voice. Scared of rejection, scared of being left again.

“I can’t stay here, there are warrants for my arrest out everywhere. Come with me. Please,” Adora’s voice held no righteousness now as it had before. She was laying herself down before Catra and begging.

Catra never had been able to say no to her.

She pulled back and ran a finger gingerly over the swollen bruise on Adora’s cheek.

“I’m sorry,” She murmured, “I shouldn’t have hit you,”

“I would have done the same in your place,” Catra let out a laugh that was too close to a sob and Adora let out a soft noise, drawing Catra into a hug.

She broke down at that. The sobs she hadn’t let leave her throat since Adora’s arrival finally breaking free as she cried into the other girl’s shoulder.

And so they stood for a time. Catra crying and gripping the girl she loved tight and Adora crying and saying quiet nothings into her ear.

Finally, Catra pulled back and nodded as she wiped tears away.

“I’ll go with you to the rebellion.”

Adora’s smile at that was worth everything. It was worth going awol and becoming an enemy of the state.

So she drew the girl she loved close again and kissed her softly, for it was all she truly knew. 

**Author's Note:**

> anyways im not super happy with the ending but im exhausted and i wanted to publish it tonight because if i stopped and tried to continue tomorrow id probably be unmotivated and bleghdghh anyways i hope you gay fuckwits enjoyed and if you didnt then why the fuck are you still reading this shit
> 
> title from amber run's "I found"


End file.
